Ice Cream: A Story

(August 5th, 2019)

Hey people! July was National Ice Cream month🍦 but I forgot to post about it, but better late than never right?!

Ice cream is one of my favorite foods. But it’s also one of the foods that has caused the most stress for me over the last few years of recovery.

•4 years ago, I could go out to get ice cream without a second thought, I had no regrets about it. I can now see just how free I was, in terms of food, at this point in my life. .

•3 years ago, I could go out for ice cream…I could go out for ice cream but not very often and if I did, I knew I wouldn’t have any other sweets that day and would skip my next snack. But I still did it and I still enjoyed going to get ice cream with my friends and family…

•2 years ago, it would have taken a lot for me to go out for ice cream. Instead I would eat fake low calorie ice cream that was honestly really just nasty now that I look back😂 But if I did go out for “real” ice cream, I would’ve ended up crying afterwards because I just couldn’t turn off the thoughts of guilt that were screaming at me silently. I would’ve spent half an hour trying to find the nutrition facts online and adding up calories and filling my mind with all kinds of pointless noise.

•1 year ago, I could go out for ice cream. It was still hard and I probably skipped some other snack, but no tears.

•Last weekend, my boyfriend said “hey wanna get ice cream?” And I said “yeah.” And I ate some ice cream and I didn’t even let myself think twice about it because I’m DONE with missing moments in my life because of anorexia. Sometimes I feel like I’ll never reach the end of my recovery. But then I look back and see things like this and I realize, maybe I am, just slowly. So now, I eat ice cream. A food that was once too scary for me to eat, that now I CAN and DO eat because I’m winning my life back from this eating disorder. Ice cream is GOOOOOD and I’m gonna keep eating it till the day I die, for the girl I used to be who wouldn’t let herself. I know a lot of you have similar struggles and fear foods. I promise you that you can overcome them, it just takes time and hard work and courage. But it’s so worth it!! So, will you join me?

XOXO,

Julia